Parents: Friend or Foe to Learner Drivers?

In an ideal world, getting parents involved in their child’s driver training is essential – but in the real world, it’s often not that simple.

We know that good parents involve themselves in every aspect of their child’s life – especially when it comes to their education. But are they getting involved enough with their son or daughter’s driver training?

According to the ADIs we talked to, the results are mixed: “My experience is you get good and bad parents,” says ADI Karen Clamp of Let’s Instruct. “Some are interested in what their child is doing but some couldn’t care less. On the positive side, I recently had twins both learning at the same time. The parents were great, taking them out in the family car and waiting until the twins were at test standard – this helped so much with their confidence.”

To help parents who want to get involved, campaigns such as Good Egg’s offer key advice and tips on how they can help their child learn to become better drivers before, during and after training – from sourcing reputable instructors to reinforcing what their child has learnt in lessons.

According to the DSA, those who pass their test have had an average of 47 hours professional instruction backed up by at least 20 hours of private practice.”

– Good Egg’s ‘Parents of New Drivers’ campaign.

But parental involvement can be a double-edged sword as instructor Jill Wathen reveals: “In many cases, if a pupil has been taught something by me, they relay it back to their parents – and it’s shunned.”

And she’s not alone. ADI Peter Atkins of B Smart B Safe explains: “As an instructor, I get the famous quote: ‘My dad says you’re teaching me wrong’, or the other classic: ‘Why is it taking so long to get my child to test? I did mine in 20 minutes!’”.

Worse still, some parents are not only undermining the instructor’s hard work, but the learner’s confidence as well. Karen Clamp explains: “I had one student whose dad shouted at him every time he failed the test. In the end, I said: ‘Don’t tell your father that you’re doing the test – just tell him you’re heading out for a lesson’. Thankfully, the tactic worked and the student passed the test on his next try.”

Nearly three quarters of parents think they would fail their driving test if they had to take it again, yet 40% would be happy to teach a friend or relative how to drive.”

– Survey by Goodyear Driving Academy for Young Driver Education Week.

ADIs are also concerned that parents may not be the ideal role models for safe driving: “The damage has already been done by the time the pupil gets in my car,” says instructor Stephen Elstone. “As soon as they drive off, they replicate a bad habit – or ten – that their parents have. One hand on the gearstick, one resting on the knee or over-accelerating, to name just a few.”

Instructor Michelle Cooke believes that parents should have a refresher lesson from time to time to check their own driving standards are up to scratch before they start mentoring their child: “At the end of the day, parents have spent years trying to protect their child from harm,” says Michelle, “so don’t risk undoing all that hard work.”

‘If parents want their child to be safe and not end up another statistic, then they need to set a example from the start with their own driving.” – ADI Michelle Cooke.

While ADI opinion paints a mixed picture, how do learners feel about their parents getting involved? For recently-qualified Katy Powell, having a parent onboard during the training process was a definite plus: “It was really good to be able to go out in my car with my mum or an adult family friend as it gave me more experience,” says Katy. “As much as my mum might have annoyed me sometimes, just being able to get out, drive and have more practice was invaluable.”

Others like Alex Osborne preferred that his parents took a proverbial back seat when he was learning for one simple reason: “When you take the test, you are supposed to do it by yourself – so it makes sense to do the entire process by yourself.”

Ultimately, whether instructors encourage students to get their parents involved or not is a tough call. Perhaps the best approach is to meet the parents before the first driving lesson and sound them out. Are they receptive about being involved? Have they already been giving lessons to their child? Is the learner displaying any bad habits during lessons? Oh, and is the family car covered in dents and scrapes?

Like so many aspects of an ADI’s professional life, perhaps the decision should come down to gut instinct. After all, while parents may know their child best, when it comes to driver training, it’s the qualified instructor with years of experience who should always remain firmly in the passenger seat.